Journal Entry – 14/04/2018

On Tuesday there was a storm that heavily affected the country and most residents didn’t have access to electricity and hot water to their homes. The heavy wind did a lot of damage and in some homes their roofs were ripped off.

For me, the only damage to our home were a part of a tree had been snapped off. Not as bad as our neighbors because parts of their fences were blown off and a hunk of their trees were damaged.

We still have electricity and there haven’t been anymore damages, but the only thing that’s been an inconvenience is that we don’t have hot water. For the past 3 days I’ve had to take a cold shower and it’s been really annoying because I’m the only one in our family to have taken the most cold showers.

Honestly, I could have gone to a friends place or maybe to the nearest gym, but I just can’t be bothered and the first time I didn’t know the hot water isn’t working. the third time, which was yesterday(Friday), I thought it was back because I heard a notice of get being fixed, but turns out that our suburb is one of the few that gets fixed today(Saturday).

So yeah, hopefully it gets fixed early today because I’ve read that it takes about 6 hours for the water to be completely heated through. It’s 1:14 pm right now and I’m waiting for the plumber to get here and help rewire the water heating thing so it doesn’t get affected the next time something like this happens.

The problem is, we live in an old house and even though we still have electricity, the water heating thing is connected differently, so that means we don’t have any hot water. If that made any sense haha.

I haven’t done anything interesting for the past few days, just spent them at home since there’s a storm and it’s still been raining. It did better for one day, but then it continued to rain.

Weather aside, I personally haven’t been feeling that great. I just recovered from having canker sores and now I’m just low energy and can’t be bothered with doing anything. About the canker sores, I really don’t what the deal with them is. I know I bit my tongue and that could cause it, but then I had another one on the the side of my cheek.

It was difficult to eat and I didn’t even want to talk because it hurts to move my mouth. I did a little bit reading to find out what I can do about it and ended up doing a salt rinse, baking soda rinse, and applied coconut oil on it. I did that for the first half of week and then stopped because I just couldn’t be bothered anymore. Now it’s completely gone.

It’s frustrating that things like this happen to me one after the other. First it was the ear infection, then canker sores, and now I just feel drained and angry. I’d say I’m depressed, but I don’t want it to sound like an excuse to avoid doing something with my life.

I’m currently not studying right now. Still suspended from university, academically. It’s almost been a year and then I can reapply for the next semester. What even got me into this mess is because of my depression. It was one of the most darkest moments of my life and I didn’t want anything to do with the world. I honestly felt like I didn’t belong there. I tried to get help from the university but it didn’t do me any good. They just didn’t listen at all.

I’m definitely never going back there again. I’ve studied for 4 years already and I’ve hated every moment of it since the beginning. Every time I’ve been miserable is because of school and family. I just to live my life the way I want it to be; in peace.

I can’t even begin to tell you how much grief I have to go through with this ‘family’. Each passing day fuels me with anger. Common sense does not exists in this household. If you use the toilet and you get piss on the floor, you wipe it up. Is it that difficult? When you’re done pooping, you keep the windows open so it can air out. Is that too difficult?

It’s these every day trivial things that infuriates me the most because it’s such a simple task, yet they can’t fulfill it. Then throughout the day, they would talk behind my back or just straight tell me that I’m horrible or blame me for something that I didn’t do. The level of moral decay in this household is enough to get anyone to drive a car into a tree.

Sometimes I do wish I was still studying, so I could graduate, find a job, and move out of this mess. But now that I can’t get a degree, I have to find a job. I can’t reapply to university because I have to show them something productive that I have been doing during my suspension, so that’s clearly out of the picture.

So if you wanna donate a large some of money, feel free to do so lol. I’m joking, mostly(paypal payment below).

Spent the day on the computer, nothing new. Gonna leave it here for today. Talk to you later, good night.

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